Aunt Mary

The other day Brett and I were meeting with our wedding officiant to go over some details. He was talking about the different parts of us that we bring to the relationship and said “Brett, you’ve got the kids and a past marriage that you’re bringing, and Kelsey, you’ve got Spain and whatever that is to you.” I didn’t really know what he was going to say when he got to me, and honestly I loved how he put it, and we all had a laugh.

I’ve been thinking about it a lot since he said it, and I realized that ‘whatever Spain is’ to me is probably the same as ‘whatever Guatemala is’ to my Aunt Mary. It’s hers. It’s something she has that’s different than everyone else she knows. It’s adventure, and bravery, and love, and fun. It’s the once overwhelming and unknown, that became the safe place and most dear. It’s her own path with her own rules.

I always felt a kindred connection with Mary. We both value experience, and diversity, and helping others. We love dancing, and nature, and exploring. We both left home right out of high school, and lived in other countries. We both understand the joy and sorrow of having your heart in two different places.

Mary made the bold decision to break the mold and go to university in Montana, far from Kansas, to study forestry. She joined the Peace Corps and moved to Guatemala for a few years, fell in love, and married my Uncle Jenry. They moved back to the United States and she continued working as a forest ranger and at the Bureau of Indian Affairs, until she retired 6 years ago to go travel and live her double life - part time in Guatemala, part time in California.

But 6 years ago she was also diagnosed with cancer, and has been battling it ever since - until a couple weeks ago.

I’m so thankful Mary didn’t wait until she retired to live her dreams, and that she lived them throughout her life. I’m so thankful that she was sworn into the Peace Corps on the exact day I was born - a link she swore bonded us forever, and reminded me of every year. I’m so thankful that she provided me a model of what getting out of Kansas and living life as an exclamation point could look like. I’m so thankful I got to explore her Guatemala with her.

I always thought that Mary looked more like my Grandpa Beckman, but at our last visit, she was the spitting image of my sweet Grandma Beckman, and hearing her speak with the priest as he came to perform her last rites, I know she was embodying Grandma Beckman’s spirit as well - and for anyone who knew her, that’s the highest of compliments. It wasn’t the outcome she had hoped for, but she had peace in knowing where she was going, and was ready.

I’m sad she can’t be at my wedding, and know she really wanted to be there, but I will be thinking of her as I watch our little flower girls walk down the aisle - a duty I performed for her decades ago. I’m also sad that many of us are unable to be at her celebration of life today in California. I know Mary was a lot of different things to a lot of different people, and I hope that we honor her memory by living out what she represented for us; for me that means living boldly and bravely, and showing kindness and love to all.

Oh! And dancing. Lots of dancing :-).